Thursday, April 9, 2009

I kind of like Jethro.

Sometimes, I think the Internet is a sick, sick thing that the devil has put here to suck up my brainpower. Like Wikipedia. Wikipedia is like crack for me. It’s the world’s longest game of “6 Degrees of Kevin Bacon.” Last week I watched Love Actually (for the 427th time) and looked up Emma Thompson in Wikipedia to see what other roles were listed. Before I knew it I had gotten mired in an entry dealing with the divide between church and state. No kidding.

So I have been trying to curb the wiki-ing, but other brain sucking diversions have sprung up to take its place. Have y’all seen One of my preggers buddies, Nicole, is having a girl and we (well, okay, just ME) have been fascinated with Nymbler. Check it out.

I like baby names. I am obsessed with baby names. I could discuss baby names for hours. Days, perhaps. I am not remotely ashamed that I have a collection of baby name books dating back to when I was 13. I was very upset at the original name of my Cabbage Patch kid and sent in the adoption certificate to have it changed from Heidi to Carla, after a character in the 80’s cartoon Kidd Video. If you remember Kidd Video, you are my new best friend because even Baby Brother could only muster up a vague recollection.

Oddly enough, this obsession does not extend to actual babies, just their names.

(Dear friends: This does not mean I don’t like your babies. I love your babies. I just don’t love them with a sick and freaky obsession, for which you should be relieved.)

As you can imagine, this tends to drive my friends (all of whom seem to be pregnant right now) batty. Especially when I break out the baby name rules…..which, let me explain, are only MY rules. You choose your names as you wish, more power to you. You want to name your kid Bronx Mowgli, Ashlee Simpson, float your own boat. Maybe he can grow up and hang out with Kal-El Cage and Pilot Inspektor Lee. (Then again, if Jason Lee wanted to have babies with me, I would let him name them Inspektor Gadget, if only he would get rid of that Earl mustache.)

Who named your baby? Jamiedidit.
1. No nickname names. Call her Katie. But make the birth certificate say Katherine. Unless, of course, there is a tradition of some sort.
2. If you fight over a family name, whoever pops the kid out first wins.
3. Last name-first names are great. I think this is because NOBODY will ever be able to use my last name as a first name and I am jealous of the rest of you.
4. Nicknames (as long as you have a regular name for formal use) are even better. Baby Sister has a rocking nickname, and I am way jealous. There is nothing one can do with Jamie except amend it to James. I have a great-aunt named Winifred, which is way up there on the list of World’s Most Hideous Names, but the nickname she has is so rockstar awesome that I will most likely use it one day, and therefore will not tell you people about it.
5. British names are great. In the UK you can use the name Jemima (LOVE Jemima) and they think Beatrix Potter’s Puddle-Duck, not Pancake Syrup. For that matter, you can use Beatrix!
6. (The Golden Rule) Spell it conventionally, people. Let me tell you, I spent the first half of my life hoping there would be stuff with “Jamie” preprinted on it at tacky Florida souvenir shops, and it never happened. There was always JAIME, but no JAMIE. So I know you think all those funky Kaitlyn, Katelin, Caytlan, etc. spellings are cute, but then your kid will never get any fun personalized stuff because nobody will be able to spell her name.

Oh, and Nicole? Decided on “Amelia Claire.” Very classy, very perfect. I think I will call her Millie.


NNS said...

I am obsessed too. I start thinking of my next kids name before I even pop out the one I'm pregnant with. I, of course, like different. (I use to like it because I wanted to be unique - now everyone is doing it and I wish I could take it back. Soon Sarah will be unique. Maybe you can help me with baby 3. ;)

Jamiedidit said...

Ooh, I LOVE your kids' names. Elis especially. It's hard to find a good Elizabeth/Elisabeth nickname that isn't overused.

Anonymous said...

I have a friend named Jamie, too, and people are always spelling her name wrong. She has a great nickname, too, but it comes from her last name. :)

Jennifer said...

Great post :)
I love that you officially had your cabbage patch doll's name changed. Too awesome. I don't think I was even aware mine had a name...

Layne Street said...

I think we may be kindred spirits. Have I said it before? I think about this ALL the time. ALL the time.

I was always devasted when I couldn't find mini-license plates with 'Layne' on em. A constant bone that I had to pick with dead ol mom and dad.

AND re: children's librarian? Do you love the movie "You've Got Mail?"

Layne Street said...

I knew it. The epitome of my perfect life is Meg Ryan's character - minus the fact that they had to close the Shop Around the Corner.

I'm in a Jane Austen book club and I can't WAIT to read Pride and Prejudice just because she loved it so much.

HIGH five.

P.S. It was always spelled "Lane." GRRR!

Sprite's Keeper said...

I completely stole Sprite's name from my sister who had a son and wasn't going to be pregnant any time soon, but the name was so classic and I loved it and it fits her. Sometimes. Most of the time, she truly is a sprite. :-)

Ansley Cox said...

Jamie, I love this post for so many reasons and cannot believe how much we have in common after reading your blog. I too am obsessed with baby names, (and now remember that you asked about Charlie's middle name, Busbee...), I waste hours of my life wiki-ing, and then there's your list - I could have written it myself. #3 is me too...although before marrying John I had every intention of naming my son "Brock," which was quickly squelched by marrying a Cox. We need to compare our baby names list sometime!

Ansley Cox said...

I forgot to tell you...I thought I was the only person who remembers Kidd Video...I don't think I ever missed an episode!